liviconnor: Zoe roar (Queer is so gay)
[personal profile] liviconnor
I have decided to come out a little bit earlier than I'd originally planned. Why? Because I damn well want to, and because I think the queer students of this school could use a role model who isn't afraid to be seen, and I think I could be that person. And for a more practical reason, in the next three weeks we're covering the "Dating" chapter in our textbooks, and that's as good a time as any to out myself.
My hands are kind of shaky, now that I've made the decision. It's scary and possibly stupid, but not as stupid as it could be. Homophobia in China is more passive than it is in the US. Maybe you'll get passed over for job opportunities, maybe people won't talk to you, maybe you'll be a disappointment to your family and friends, but nobody's going to actually hurt you. This is what the general knowledge is. I'm here for another twelve weeks after my planned coming out week (I'm going to do it in every class for five days), and I think I could deal with it if my worst-case scenario came true. If I suddenly became a persona non grata on campus, whatever. If I suddenly became invisible in the whole city that would be less fun, but I could still deal. The foreign teachers have always been my support system anyways.
They can't fire me, just because of the logistics. We're already missing three teachers, two permanently and one may or may not be returning. His wife had a stroke- I can't blame him. But most of the teachers are already teaching extra classes. They can't afford to fire me and load even more classes on the others, especially because I'm one of the best-behaved ones here. No motorcycle, no alcohol, no whores, what can I say? I'm just a goody two-shoes.
So, all of that in mind, I'm coming out in two weeks. I hate being closeted, now for the first time in my life. I found pretty universal support back at home, and while I'm not expecting that here, I would love to feel like I'm not hiding some deep dark secret every time I talk about my life back home.
I know it's going to come out eventually. The students who see the rainbow flag on my laptop, or when someone's invited over and they see the GLBTQ magnetic poetry on my fridge, or how I discussed the difference between sex and gender in my class today and always include gay people in my examples of families an couples- someone's going to catch on, if they haven't already. I'm not ashamed of it and I never have been, so why should I give my students that impression?
Maybe I'm crazy, but hell if I'm not going to be crazy for the right reasons.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 05:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] diego001.livejournal.com
Oh, good. I'm glad you're doing this. Happy thoughts from me to you! ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liviconnor.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm a little queasy that I'm doing this, but I appreciate the happy thoughts. You'll probably get updated when the shockwaves hit, if not here than at Authorityshoes. I used to see you over there, though not recently. I haven't told the familia what I'm doing, because I think they'd talk me out of it, but I'll probably tell them once it's done.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] diego001.livejournal.com
Yeah, I've been reading, but haven't had much to say, really. That's all.
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 12:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liviconnor.livejournal.com
Thanks, for the poetry, the support, and the huggles. Those magnets make for solo amusement, and have been a great party amusement on one occasion. Zelda's leather breasts ate Yoshi! (The video game ones are from Vicky, but they all play well together)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gizmometer.livejournal.com
<3!!!!

Good luck. I wish you this most sincerely. And I think you are crazy for all the best reasons. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 12:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liviconnor.livejournal.com
I think you are crazy for all the best reasons too, Gizmo. As I was doing my 'what is the difference between sex and gender?' schpiel, I was thinking of how you do those so well. But I think despite the simple English I had to use, they still got it. I didn't go into trans stuff, or even queers, beyond the vague possibility that one's sex might not match one's gender, but I think they got it anyways and now I am happy.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gizmometer.livejournal.com
Aw. :)

Yay! Go you!!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rmg.livejournal.com
You can do it! You're being awesome and brave as heck! :D

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-15 11:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowgirlvg.livejournal.com
Wooo! Go Gabi! You go earn yourself that new toaster! (Seriously, you're awesome and viel Gluck.)

Profile

liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
liviconnor

January 2015

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
181920 21222324
2526272829 3031

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 01:00 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios