liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Day 10: Try something new in the fannish realm

Good lord. I've written fic in every fandom I feel even remotely qualified in. I did my first podfic this year. I even did doofy fanart for the pornathon. I wrote a freakin' screenplay, silly as it was! ... But this year's new year's resolution is to do new things. Give me time.

Day 11: Resources.

Yesterday I stumbled across a resource of Tolkein's dirtiest words for elves. Here goes, for your tittilation and amusement!
and an essay on the topic:

Day 12: Did this one last entry!

Day 13: An amazing creator

I think Lunchee, of munchinglunch, is just awesome. The variety of media she covers- mostly podfic and written fic- but also the depth and quality she has, is so amazing. It's clear that she puts a lot of work and time into everything she makes, and I've really enjoyed everything she does. (well, everything in my fandoms- but some others too!) The only reason I listen to podfic now is because she introduced me to the idea, and I am so, so grateful. (Intended? Drastically Redefining Protocol?)

I also have to mention sam_storyteller, who managed to make me watch White Collar and thereby got my dad hooked. I own one of Sam's published books, published under the name Sam Starbuck. His HP fic is part of my headcanon, his Avengers fic is fantastic, and the challenges he creates (consentacles, anyone?) are great. Hence his online fandom army.

Day 14: Rec for fanworks I did not create
EASY PEASY. Hardest part is picking just 3!

Nominated for best porn on the internet is: Castle (the rules by which we live), by New Kate

Nominated for best Star Trek genfic is: You're Gonna Make It After All, by igrockspock

Nominated for best Merlin transfic: Edit the Sad Parts, by cruentum

And these are just the ones from my AO3 bookmarks without me poking around too much so I don't angst forever. So much good fic out there!

Day 15: Create your own challenge

I. Love. Crossovers.
I used to be so ashamed of this, like some sort of 'purity' should be expected in fandom or something. But fuck that! You want Arthur to meet Giles and have a reality crisis? Awesome! Write it, and power to you. I love what people do with it, with that much freedom to shape a new reality. So I guess my challenge would be to cross everything the fuck over, ideally with lots of ladies and queerness.

My challenge: The Bechdel Crossover. Make a crossover that passes the Bechdel test.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Day 6: Create a fanwork
I'm tired so it's kind of half-finished meta but this would be really fun to actually make.

Tarot as seen in Merlin: Swords
One: clearly Excalibur as wielded by Arthur- as he begins his journey into kinghood, in justice and clarity
Two: swords stuck into the ground, not used but still pointy- in balance and at rest
Three: Lancelot leaving, Arthur saluting him with a sword, and Gwen polishing- too many hearts and emotions to be in one place
Four: Gwen making sword after sword to hang over the wall after Morgana left- taking a break after the castle, until her heart's a bit healed and she can face the world again.
Five: The banners of the five kingdoms, each one bearing a sword with naked blade. Theoretically at peace, but not actually feeling safe.
Six: Six knights in a hunting party, each with a sword- travel to get new information, insight with distance, new knowledge that makes things easier
Seven: A big pile of swords next to a young knight- better swords does not a better knight make
Eight: Merlin carrying eight of Arthur's swords- he's overburdened and feeling picked-on
Nine: Nine dirty swords that need cleaning. If someone just oils them, the situation won't get worse
Ten: Ten swords pointing into a round table- after so long, the knights are gathering. Time to teach others how a round table could be.
Prince of swords: Young Arthur, giving a speech
Princess: Morgana
King: Gaius with books
Queen: Annis on the battlefield

Day 7
Share your love for a trope/cliche/kink:

I love "returned after long separation" fic. The one where Merlin was in Italy and met Prince Arthur and they had a short fling but then they met again in London and had OTP love over building a hospital (because Merlin was a brilliant architect)- squee!

Or when trans!Merlin had a thing with cis!Arthur when they were teens, and they remet after Merlin had come out and transitioned all the way and they were grown up and like, awesome together despite living in different towns and being so terribly different.

Or- well, there are more. They're in my AO3 bookmarks. I think I love them because I left some people I was really close to when I was pretty young, and I missed them terribly. My first grade best friend went and moved two towns over, and my first ever diary entry was about that. I said that my heart was broken.

Cut to the early days of Facebook. I found him, and he was going to law school a few states over. I said 'hi', and it turned out he remembered me too. We messaged a little, and then it petered out. We have nothing in common, so far as I know.

I really would like to see him again, but in a moment of idiocy I un-friended him because I thought I needed to grow up and forget about it. So... all of this fic is basically wish fulfillment. As most fic is, isn't it?

Day Eight is to post a love meme: to ask people to tell you how much they love you.
I'm pretty sure nobody reads this journal anymore, but if you do, feel free to tell me something you find awesome or lovely about me. I will most definitely reply with something lovely or wonderful about you, unless you are actually Hitler.

Day Nine: What surprises you about fandom

I am constantly amazed and encouraged by how lovely and positive my fandoms have been. I know the internet is often a dark and angry place, but fandom is where I go when I want to see loving smiles and endless enthusiasm for other people's creative endeavors.
Fandom is the constant renewal of the old adage: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
People are so freaking nice, and I love it.

For another thing, I never heard of podfic until a year or two ago, and then I loved it. Podfic is the best, and I love that 1: people create this type of tribute, and 2: I can hear the interpretations of these characters in so many different accents and voices. It's harder than it sounds to do a really good podfic!

Plus 12: What do I bring to fandom?

Well, lots of porn. But seriously?
I've written and I always try to comment and give people lots of praise with possibly something to improve too. I'm wicked enthusiastic, and I try to follow the campsite rule: leave it better than you found it. So always improve, ideally by making whoever I interact with feel better about their day.

I did Merlin Summer Pornathon, I wrote a few fics, most of them so-so but well-intended, I've commented all the fuck over, but I'm not someone whose fics are, like, fandom canon. No astolat or munchinglunch.

(Where would we be without Munchie? Well, we'd be a gazillion podfics poorer, I know that much.)

I'm at my bravest and best on the kinkmemes. I'm willing to write seriously weird fic when my name's not attached. I guess that's what I bring to fandom. Willingness to stretch my boundaries, so long as NOBODY EVER FINDS OUT who I am.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
God, I haven't posted on DW in forever! But it's the new year, and I'm going off the fandom diet. Resolution: To fan in moderation.

I'm doing the Snowflake challenge for January, but I'm doing it in chunks because it's really not in my schedule to devote that much time to DW, sorry.

Read more... )
And here I am!


May. 19th, 2014 10:30 pm
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
I keep finding yellow spiders in my apartment. Nickel-sized, pale yellow spiders that hide from six feet above the ground to ceiling-height. Now, I am a friend to arachnids. They eat other, more troublesome bugs and generally don't give me any trouble. The eight legs and exoskeleton are creepy, but certain spiders possess a type of otherworldly elegance.

Also the webs are pretty. I respect a good web. (My spinning wheel has nothing on them.)

At first I thought there was only one, but I keep dumping them out and they keep showing up indoors. In the bathroom, in my bedroom, in the bedrooms...

Basically my house is full of yellow spiders, and just being able to say that sentence is freaking me out a little bit.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Flower!)
This Monday is St. Patrick's Day, if you recall. Given that some of my adult ESL students live and work in Boston, it seemed like a good idea to warn them. God forbid they decide that Monday was the day to explore Southie, and they run into drunken hordes of faux-Irishmen.

So here's the basic lesson plan: Split the class in half. Each half gets an article. It's a hard article, so they work together to crack it and answer a few basic comprehension questions. Then as a group they think of a few discussion questions related to their article.
Next they pair up with a student from the opposite group, and share what they read. Once everyone has a rough idea, they use the discussion questions to start a conversation about Boston's history and culture related to St. Patrick's Day.

Great, right?
So Group 1 got an article about Evacuation day and Group 2 got an article about this year's debate about whether or not LGBTQ vets should march in the St. P's day parade. The parade is put on by a private group of stuffy old Catholic Irish-American vets from Southie, who think they have the right to exclude whoever the fuck they want, so it's been a big deal.

It was hard, but the discussion questions were interesting. The best by far was:

Why don't gay people tell other people (that they're gay)?

Interesting, because one member of the group had no idea what 'Gay' even meant. I simplified LGBTQ to the offensively simple 'gay,' because it was ESL class and we didn't have time to get into the massively wonderful diversity that is human sexuality and gender identity.

At the beginning I'd thought: I have exactly one week left with this group. They're almost all moving out of my class, and maybe for them to realize that their English teacher has been queer this whole time would broaden their minds a little.

Then Alan reacted with horror and mockery at the very idea that some people aren't straight. As he said: "I love man! I love my father, I love my brother, I love my friend..."
Fanny: "No, love like marry!"
Alan: *grossed out face* "Love like marry! No, no, very few, not so many, no, this not good." *shaking his head*

And this was after we'd defined 'Discrimination' and written it on the board.

It's moments like this that I can almost hear a giant closet door swing shut in my face. I consciously choose to avoid pronouns, or use 'he and she' instead of picking one when I give examples, but then it becomes radically clear that sometimes all of that means absolutely nothing. I 'pass,' and even if I wore rainbows and sparkly flannel, it would mean absolutely nothing to someone when their eyes are so tightly closed.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Someone posted these in the middle of a fanfiction about a character learning to write essays for his college class- his tutor was a poet, and theoretically the tutor wrote these. I kind of love them, but I don't know who to credit for these words. For now:
By winterhill, on

I saw a woman with a tiny dog.
She laughed at me and I
realised that maybe
my eyes are a
two way street.


Under the blanket
my breath fills the space until I
am not longer empty.
Sleeping under Earth
waiting for my time to rise.


When I write,
my eyes are as
dark as
I spill
across pages,


No-one ever asks
the crescent moon
if living as
just a half
can be too lonely
to bear.


I fear
That the end of my life’s quest will be
Like the end of the Holy Grail
Bundled off by the police
With no resolution.

(I asked winterhill who the author is- as have others since the story was posted, in 2010. No answer, and googling individual lines or whole poems gets nothing. Could it be original?)


Aug. 12th, 2013 10:51 pm
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Things I am grateful for:

The help of relative strangers, who ensure my health and safety
The love of my sister
My dad, even when he drives me crazy, because he does that with love as well
My potted plants, who have survived two years with me
My body
Spinning wheels
The generosity of friends
My grandmother, who I respect more every time I think of her
Feminism, and the power of women
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xena: Warrior Princess
The fandom- the massive community of giant, flaming nerds
Eggs (So easy to cook with!)
Vegans, and their milk-free recipes
The choice to not have sex
Having sex sometimes and not others, and choosing what kind and how/when/where/with whom
Light through the trees on a sunny day
Bonfires and fire dancing
Laundry in-house (someday I will have this too)
My circles of community- knitters, pagans, high school friends, fic writers...
My sister (again, because even if she didn't know me, I'd be glad someone like her existed)
Allies, to any community
Education, mine and others'
Plants, and the indomitable spirit of non-animal life
My job, and my boss

And a thousand other things I haven't named. Apparently August is gratitude month (my local sex shop also said it was anal sex month...) and this seemed like a good start.


Jun. 10th, 2013 11:05 am
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Written for a creative writing class in high school, during the 'Imitating Koch' week.

Dipping through and out of your turkey-stare,
You are a Zanzibar of fidgety fat
Which dangles apelike from a tree.
Clandestined tattings to make the lace-thin skin of your face,
Brain clandestined, too.
You are the flaming intent of chainsaw-tickling demise.
A turkey. The hobo walks with a limp.
Like a rainbow on the floor.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)

One character can mean a great deal- most words are made up of two characters, fragments of meaning that connect with another fragment to make a fuller idea of what you really mean.

That's part of why I love Chinese. Each word seems to be an idea, sort of like the flash of meaning you have before the idea forms fully in your mind. "Bean-like thing that grows in the ground" becomes "tudou," or potato. Literally, earth/dirt/ground bean.

The character above is 'Wang.'

In connection with other words, it could mean tennis, internet, net (as for fishing), liaise, and more. Look at the character- a frame filled with ties and connections. A web.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Another classic, quoted in The Wanderer, by Sharon Creech

by Carl Sandburg

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
by Shel Silverstein

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight,
To rest in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black,
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow,
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
This guy makes me smile:

... especially when he talks about his unhappy students. My students tend to argue directly with me, and I figure it's good practice for them to use their English to complain, but it rends the ears just a bit. Good to know I'm not the only one who sort of looks forward to and also dreads the returning of grades.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Roar!)
Went to TIC: I carved a carrot, Julia Serrano talks too much, and Janna's cat is the size of a dinosaur.
That is all.


Oct. 17th, 2011 09:45 pm
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
So, I've asked for help for a friend with the assistance of Sam's Cafe, and rather than have to do all the communication that may result over there in Sam's comments area, I'm going to post about it here. Internet manners, right?

The problem:
Problem is, I have a friend living with me, who I like a great deal, but who is currently living in my living room/study/not-a-bedroom. It's the size of some people's closets (and not even Sex and the City people, either), and doesn't have its own closet either. This friend is looking for a more permanent arrangement.
Okay, you say. How hard can it be? You live in Boston, it's a big city, and surely there are open apartments available! Well yes, there are. However, this friend of mine is genderqueer and currently unemployed. Looking for work, yes, but that big fancy degree in Econ isn't getting much exercise right now. And genderqueer! What's that? Well just in case you were wondering, it means that my friend uses gender-neutral pronouns for zirself. (See what we did there?) This makes finding an apartment just a wee bit harder.

The ideal solution:
A room in an apartment with a couple of roomies who are gay-friendly. My friend is a big animal lover, and a vegetarian who doesn't mind living with meat-eaters, fellow veggies, or vegans. As such, pets are not any problem, and cats will make zir absolutely ecstatic. Seriously, it's kind of cute. Distance isn't a huge issue, since ze bikes, but biking to Worcester is less fun than biking to Roslindale. The biggest consideration is cost- my friend's lack of immediate employment means that until there's income, ze's looking for a room around $400-$600/month.

The hopeful path to finding a solution:
YOU! Pm me here or leave a comment and you guys can get connected!

liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
by Ezra Pound

The man bent over his guitar,
A shearsman of sorts. The day was green.

They said, "You have a blue guitar,
You do not play things as they are."

The man replied, "Things as they are
Are changed upon the blue guitar."

And they said then, "But play, you must,
A tune beyond us, yet ourselves,

A tune upon the blue guitar,
Of things exactly as they are."
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Welcome to my DW journal!

This won't be a very exciting place to be, but if you want to loiter, feel free. Cookies and tea are in the cabinets, and the sofa's comfortable enough to spend some good time in. There's not much to read but feel free to bring your own yarn to knit, crochet, spin, or tell.

Probably I'll end up posting favorite poems by other people, because I'm a self-acknowledged terrible poet, but who knows, right? Future being what it is, we don't ever know what's coming, prophets aside.

Anyways, I like comments and friends and strangers, so if you're friendly and creative and have anything to say, do feel free to say it. Folks say I'm a good listener. Enjoy!
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Flower!)
I went to the farmer's market today, and picked out a tomato. It was small, sort of heart-shaped, and green, with yellow streaks. I paid a quarter for it, and the first bite was like jumping into the pool on a hot summer day. Fresh, warm, cool, juicy, delicious, and sweet. The skin was firm and the flesh was soft, and I ate everything but the tiny bit of stem on top. It was the best thing I have eaten all year.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Queer is so gay)
I have decided to come out a little bit earlier than I'd originally planned. Why? Because I damn well want to, and because I think the queer students of this school could use a role model who isn't afraid to be seen, and I think I could be that person. And for a more practical reason, in the next three weeks we're covering the "Dating" chapter in our textbooks, and that's as good a time as any to out myself.
My hands are kind of shaky, now that I've made the decision. It's scary and possibly stupid, but not as stupid as it could be. Homophobia in China is more passive than it is in the US. Maybe you'll get passed over for job opportunities, maybe people won't talk to you, maybe you'll be a disappointment to your family and friends, but nobody's going to actually hurt you. This is what the general knowledge is. I'm here for another twelve weeks after my planned coming out week (I'm going to do it in every class for five days), and I think I could deal with it if my worst-case scenario came true. If I suddenly became a persona non grata on campus, whatever. If I suddenly became invisible in the whole city that would be less fun, but I could still deal. The foreign teachers have always been my support system anyways.
They can't fire me, just because of the logistics. We're already missing three teachers, two permanently and one may or may not be returning. His wife had a stroke- I can't blame him. But most of the teachers are already teaching extra classes. They can't afford to fire me and load even more classes on the others, especially because I'm one of the best-behaved ones here. No motorcycle, no alcohol, no whores, what can I say? I'm just a goody two-shoes.
So, all of that in mind, I'm coming out in two weeks. I hate being closeted, now for the first time in my life. I found pretty universal support back at home, and while I'm not expecting that here, I would love to feel like I'm not hiding some deep dark secret every time I talk about my life back home.
I know it's going to come out eventually. The students who see the rainbow flag on my laptop, or when someone's invited over and they see the GLBTQ magnetic poetry on my fridge, or how I discussed the difference between sex and gender in my class today and always include gay people in my examples of families an couples- someone's going to catch on, if they haven't already. I'm not ashamed of it and I never have been, so why should I give my students that impression?
Maybe I'm crazy, but hell if I'm not going to be crazy for the right reasons.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
Shanghai, I have decided, is the most incredible city in the entire world. Case in point: I had orgasmic Shanghainese food, chocolate croissants as good as anything I had in Paris, miso soup, and decaf coffee, over the course of four days.
AND? I now have a baking pan. I kid you not, I was doing happy dances and squeaking in the grocery store. The employee at the end of the row was trying really hard not to stare, Charlotte thought I was crazy, and I was hugging that baking pan with all my might. This means brownies. And biscuits, and roast everything.
liviconnor: Zoe roar (Default)
I went camping!
I had just arrived in Oporto, Portugal, which is a beautiful city that's made of churches, cool little stores, traditional blue-and-white tile work, and big fucking hills. As the name would (maybe) suggest, it's the place where Port wine is made, so there are wine tastings at the wineries across the river all the time. I was in the incredible Andarilho hostel, at the birthday party for a guy who never actually showed up, sitting with some friendly anglophones and noshing on traditional Portuguese food, when the fellow sitting next to me says, 'Hey, you wanna go camping?'
It wasn't on my plans, it didn't fit on the schedule, I was going to have to rearrange and probably cut out Florence and most of Italy, he was probably a crazy axe murderer, and I did it anyways. He was a bit incredulous that the first person he'd asked agreed, but as the rest of the group told him, all you have to do is ask. It was a fun group of individual tourists who sort of glommed together their first night, and had a really good group chemistry. We went out to dinner the next night, after Jonas and I planned out our trip and itinerary.
We went for three nights, on La Isla de Ons, off the coast of Spain. We took the metro, two trains, a bus and a ferry to get there, and found another beautiful, exciting and relentlessly hilly place. La Isla has no mammals (aside from humans), just birds and bugs. It has a nude beach, which we went to but did not actually do the nude thing- all the beaches were pretty lax on the clothing. Really, I felt like a prude when I wore my swimsuit the whole time.
The water was freezing and clear, the tidal pools had NO HERMIT CRABS. Whoa! But they had anemones and little shrimpy things and periwinkles. The food was great. Jonas is a great guy, kind of tallish and blue-eyed in a stereotypically attractive way. He's from Belgium, and has an accent. He goes camping alot, and kind of had the whole camping thing down, whereas I was still trying to figure a great deal out. But I spoke Spanish and he didn't, so I still felt like I was contributing and being useful.
I'm back in Porto today, in the hostel. We actually camped on the hostel lawn, since they overbooked the hostel and we'd already made reservations before we left. One last night of camping. I think I'm buying some wine and a dress today, to bring home.
Hmm... other things I meant to say but didn't? Isla de Ons is covered in blackberries. I don't think I've ever seen so many blackberries, so we ate and ate and ate, filling my little handbag with them and turning our fingertips purple. Also, the have fresh figs here! Sweet and nice, but I think a bit green yet when I ate them. And so very seedy!
Next stop: Rome. Ohboy!
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